The Prairie Thistle

I recently learned there’s a stage of life called ‘the hag’. Not maiden, mother, or crone, hag comes somewhere in midlife and fiercely defies anyone’s desire to label her. Beauty, decorum and other (particularly patriarchal) productivity ideals be damned. She is often shunned by patriarchal men, religious fundamentalists, and – surprisingly (or not) and sadly (very sadly) – women in the same phase of life.

The hag may be a mother, or not. May be truly in mid-life, or not. May be conventionally beautiful and have her shit together, or not. Any way you find her, she is in a state of a type of feminine power.

Sometimes labeled an upstart, or a problem, or a ‘Karen’ (a gendered slur that only harms women). A hag performs a vital role, as vital as the eliciting maiden, the nurturing mother or the wise crone.

Ugly, unconventional, or upstart, the hag is seen most often in history as a witch. Why? What threat did these women ACTUALLY present?

Independence?

And change. Chaotic change. Aggressive – the undesired trait of femininity – change. A hag in mythology is also at times a kind of fairy or goddess.

Little girls are fed desires of docile beauty, and then sometimes the power of sexuality, and then entreated to embrace the consolation prize of old age as long as they are still docile – and being fairy or goddess can be superimposed on any of these stages. But to allow for the hag to also be an honoured stage of life is so difficult.

Perhaps because she does not have any need for outward recognition of her status. And she generously makes room for all the parts of her she was, may have been, and may someday be. And in so doing, She. Simply. Is.

Today, I am feeling the full extent of my hag-ishness. And I thought you may enjoy or at least receive my thoughts on the matter.

To hags! May we know them – and make space for them! May we be them – and in our awareness, be unashamed! May we raise them – or, at least, help initiate others into their time when it may come!

Remember, a safe space for all hags begins with claiming and cultivating safe space for our own hag selves.