Been thinking that I’d like to write a reflection on where I’m at with God lately. It’s been a journey of nearly 2 years since I realized I was wrestling with the existence of God. It also happens to be Christmas time right now, and it kind of brings Christianity and God to mind for many people, Christians or otherwise.
So where am I at?
Well, I would say I do believe in God. And I still wrestle with the existence of God.
Been thinking that I could describe this state of faith using an illustration involving the Schrodinger’s Cat experiment. This was an ‘imaginary’ experiment where the scientist, Schrodinger, imagined what would happen if you placed a cat inside of a box along with some poisoned food. He positioned that while the cat was inside the box, invisible to the human eye, the cat was both alive and dead at the same time.
See, I am kind of thinking that we all have a faith box, and inside it we place God, along with the question of does he exist or not. We can say that while God is inside this box, he both exists and does not exist at the same time.
It is not a perfect illustration, but it did get me thinking. I believe it is part of the human experience to think about spirituality, why we are on this earth, and ask ourselves, ‘Does God exist?’ I think we will all certainly encounter this question, whether it’s once in our lives, or something we ask ourselves every day. And when we encounter the question, we all look at our faith box and make a decision.
I’m deciding to believe that God exists. But I feel I nearly completely understand those who might look at their faith box and decide he doesn’t. What people base this decision on is complicated, and often fraught with emotion. It is a big question, no matter how simple your logic might seem as you draw arguments for or against, and no matter how certainly you may, or may not have, experienced God emotionally or otherwise during a revival, church service, or youth rally.
I’ve decided I will not judge others for their choice regarding their faith box. I also do not feel it necessary to persuade those who have decided that God does not exist to my way of thinking. I don’t have the drive to be an evangelical Christian. That’s not how I’m built. I kind of think that your own faith box is your own business. I do think there are too many of us, Christian or otherwise, who think it is their business, and who try to convince those with opposing views to concede their position, using perceived absolutes that hold no weight with someone whose worldview is so completely constructed differently from our own.
So I do not bother with other people’s faith boxes. I respect them. And I work hard in my own life to be healthy, physically and mentally. I work hard to love and impact my family for good, loving and helping my husband, and together growing up some kind and loving children. I work hard to love and impact those around me, and my community, for good, in as tangible means as I possibly can for where I’m at in life.
I wish peace for everyone this Christmas, peace for where you are on your journey, whether you are confident or struggling with your decision about your faith box. I urge us all to be more relaxed about our right to an opinion and slower to click, share, or rant. I encourage us all to be more relaxed about sharing, discussing, or debating our values, but less hesitant to act on them in kind, loving, and tangible ways, for actions always have more impact than words.
Make it a good Christmas season, people. Relax. And love.